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Personal circumstances

Relationship issues

In any relationship, it is healthy for tensions to arise. This only reflects that you are searching for how you can connect with enough respect for each other's space. As a couple, you are always (unconsciously) searching for a balance between connection and autonomy. As a rule, it is only a problem if one of you experiences it as a problem. This can be different from couple to couple.
What is it? 

In any relationship, it is healthy for tensions to arise. This only reflects that you are searching for how you can both connect with enough respect for each other's space. As a couple, you are always (unconsciously) searching for a balance between connection and autonomy. 

 

As a rule, it is only a problem if one of you experiences it as a problem. This can be different from couple to couple. 

 

Example: 

  • In one relationship, one of the partners feels unseen because the other always expresses his/her need to do something with her/his friends.
  • In another relationship, both parties always spend their free time separately and neither experiences this as a problem.

Ambience photo Fontys

What can you do yourself?

It may sound cliché, but communication is the key here. However, it is obviously about clear and explicit communication that works here, which mainly starts with listening. Most couples no longer really hear what the other person is saying. To get back into the conversation, it is important not to give your opinion initially, but rather to listen and ask questions. However, this requires customisation because obviously, you are going to work differently when only you experience it as a problem and the other person does not.

Tips:

  • Speak in the I form
  • Use concrete examples (time, date, exact quantities, etc...)
  • Share your feelings
  • Share your desires (what you expect)

Self-learning module

With your Fontys account, you can make free use of online self-help modules (e-health). Check out the modules related to relationship issues below.

Relationship problems 

Problems may arise in even the best relationships. This module is about your relationship, how you and your partner treat each other, intimacy and arguments. The information and exercises will help you strengthen your relationship. 

Ambience photo Fontys

Contact team Student Guidence

  • If your relationship problems are affecting your study, make an appointment with a student psychologist.
  • If your relationship problems are an actual impedement on your study progress, please book an appointment with a student counsellor.