Dealing with relation problems
What is it?
In any relationship, it is healthy for tensions to arise. This only reflects that you are searching for how you can both connect with enough respect for each other's space. As a couple, you are always (unconsciously) searching for a balance between connection and autonomy.
As a rule, it is only a problem if one of you experiences it as a problem. This can be different from couple to couple.
Example:
- In one relationship, one of the partners feels unseen because the other always expresses his/her need to do something with her/his friends.
- In another relationship, both parties always spend their free time separately and neither experiences this as a problem.
What can you do yourself?
It may sound cliché, but communication is the key here. However, it is obviously about clear and explicit communication that works here, which mainly starts with listening. Most couples no longer really hear what the other person is saying. To get back into the conversation, it is important not to give your opinion initially, but rather to listen and ask questions. However, this requires customisation because obviously, you are going to work differently when only you experience it as a problem and the other person does not.
Tips:
- Speak in the I form
- Use concrete examples (time, date, exact quantities, etc...)
- Share your feelings
- Share your desires (what you expect)